Words to live by for 10 weeks

Recently a friend reminded me that what we think drives who we really are. He is a specific speaker and asks follow up questions in a discussion if your are not.

It reminded me a quote that I saw once. I choose to embrace these ideas for the next 10 weeks.

“Watch your thoughts, they become words;
 watch your words, they become actions;
 watch your actions, they become habits;
 watch your habits, they become character;
 watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.”

I have been asleep and not living purposefully for too long. I choose to put myself in the direction I desire to go.

Reading between Lines

Echosmith is a band I first heard on KCRW, they have been circling in my ears recently so I have been binging on them for the past 7 days. In the car, in my office, and on my twice daily walks.

Upon further research I learned that the member of Echosmith are all in the same family and grew up less than 10 miles from where I currently reside. Their musical influences site bands like The Smiths, Echo and the Bunnymen, U2 and Joy Division among other bands. I grew up listening to these bands and enjoyed them. Going back and listening to some of their songs now, I realized that I know but a small segment their music. 

At first listen it sounds like a love song but then you notice the listener is being warned, told not to look closer that your story is the safest place you will ever be. 

The first listen through this song I didn't know what to think, catchy beat interesting chorus reminding me of going to grandma's house. Upon another listen the singer is giving a warning not to come too close, not to actually see the truth that is just below the surface.  Words associated with both love found and love lost, words star crossed, drowning, broken, and lost.

The listener believing their own truth of the relationship with a warning if they are looking for truth don't go looking for the singer. 

Running where you want to be, running headlong into love like young people do. When I was young I wanted to fall into love, feeling the butterflies in my stomach, getting nervous to talk 

Things I associate with falling into love. Or more specifically opening your heart for love. Butterflies, because I don't want to say the wrong thing I actually care what the other person thinks of me (this is incredibly rare for me). 

Excited to see the other person because.... why exactly? At first you see the excitement of getting to know another person and sharing your stories, finding things in common, places you like to go to, songs you enjoy and where you were when you first heard it, your passion for travel, the outdoors, and pushing your physical limits. 

Then as things get more comfortable you begin to feel safe and secure when they hold your hand, or when you have had a bad day they embrace you and everything fades into the background. And as you get to know each other from sharing you get lost in their eyes looking for what your future will be together, walks on the beach, sharing Christmas traditions, getting your first place together, spending weekend morning in bed together sharing your bodies and kisses.  Or because the person you see in their dark eyes is so much better than the person you see in the mirror? You see the best parts of you and all of your faults dissolve.

But I think this song is about the last part when the honeymoon goes away. When the facade we present to new people starts to reveal our faults and baggage that we have kept hidden around the corner. When after dinner we don't automatically reach for that stick of gum or check to see if salad is stuck in our teeth. Comfort settles in and people let not only their guards down but also get lazy. Their dark side and half truths (unspoken words that they have kept back and not yet revealed because they are embarrassed they would not be loved if they spoke their truth), and that bag of porn at the back of the closet.

When you no longer consider the other person first. And realize the last time you have done something for yourself. Something only you enjoy doing without asking when you will be back or who you will be with. Then you wake up one day and don't recognize the person staring back at you in the mirror. Instead of the seeing the best things about the other person all you see if faults and reasons why nothing will work out. All the effort you used to put into the relationship you keep reserved for yourself because you can see that the efforts hasn't been matched for the longest time. 

They make me feel safe? Their touch makes you go crazy? You get lost in their eyes seeing a future of being together of forever being loved? 

Almost like a warning that love is a place of darkness and